Anorexia, please read :) ?

I am good at hiding my feelings and the pain I feel, it's something I have always been good at as I managed keeping anorexia hidden from the age of 15-18 but then I fainted at college and ended up in the hospital due to dehydration and malnutrition, and my class found out, all this made me do was hide it even more. I became sneaky. I feel like I am trapped as I sometimes want help but other times I enjoy the feeling of being hungry and that I am so good at hiding it. I had a argument with my parents yesterday because they hid the scales. I was also in hospital in march as I was having chest pains and again I was taken to hospital by ambulance from college. I get bad headaches and I faint. I feel really lonely and trapped aswell as fat! What should I do? I just need some guidance :) i also can't stop crying every night :/ thanks