My grandad is dead HELP ME!?

i cant talk i cant tell anyone im having trouble with my bestfriend and my boyfriend i woke up this to see my grandad sitting down with a cup of tea and toast he was not breathing i was shoked and phoned ambulance i sat down trying to be strong HELP ME how do i let my self feel better im in to much stress he was like a dad to me no one els was! i lived with him :(